tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post5479750457233002567..comments2019-06-07T15:34:40.265-06:00Comments on through the looking glass: this thing called marriage.camille nicolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01899162307159896474noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post-28177475125735198622012-02-13T12:14:11.049-07:002012-02-13T12:14:11.049-07:00THANK YOU for writing this! Our first year of marr...THANK YOU for writing this! Our first year of marriage was SO hard. You could have been describing David and me instead of you two. So many fights, me finding out I'm a "yeller"- never yelled at anyone before getting married, much questioning and doubting, and thinking it would never get better. Thanks to our commitment to each other, not letting divorce into our vocabulary, and God's grace, we're still together and it has gotten better. I, too, felt like we were the only ones who struggled and like no one would ever understand. I wish someone would have prepared me, because I know now we're not the only ones who went through it. Now I probably scare poor engaged couples because I DO tell them all about how hard it is and how much work you have to put into marriage!<br />Anyway, thanks for being open- and here's another affirmation that you're not alone!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04619797629619163832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post-62468903725270043882012-02-07T21:45:51.988-07:002012-02-07T21:45:51.988-07:00Oh sister! Let me tell you, Justin and I got marri...Oh sister! Let me tell you, Justin and I got married 6 months after we graduated from high school. A few months later I was so distraught, I told him I was leaving him and heading to California. I was irrational and scared and didn't think I had made the right choice. I didn't know what I wanted in life but I sure as heck was thinking marriage was not it. I have never told any one this... Anyway, there were tears and yelling and anxiety and fear and a jumble of emotions I can't even begin to make sense of. We were after all only 18! However I really believe with all of my heart that Birth control had a huge part to play in it. I had never been on the stuff and it screwed me up in a bad way. But we got through and when I finally stabilized, I realized how awesome it was being married to my best friend. And we have been happily married ever since. 17 years and still madly in love! After we ditched the birth control for good, It made a world of difference in our marriage too. Love you and your honesty!!! Thanks for such a great post.Staceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14219651342782649066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post-41832649741772753392012-02-02T15:14:01.155-07:002012-02-02T15:14:01.155-07:00My theory is that everyone has something that is h...My theory is that everyone has something that is hard. For some people, marriage is hard, for others, marriage is easy. For some, weight is hard, for some it's easy. For some, family is hard, for some it's easy. Same with parenting. With your career and job satisfaction. With "home" and place satisfaction. <br /><br />Both marriages that are hard and marriages that are easy can be beautiful, God-honoring, and lasting. <br /><br />Even marriages that are easy can end (I just saw it happen this year). <br /><br />Time to stop degrading people who find it hard, and time to stop feeling jealous of those who find it easy (I guarantee they have something else that's hard).Kaciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06374573594800663980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post-68537495004277997132012-02-02T08:22:27.583-07:002012-02-02T08:22:27.583-07:00dude. marriage is hard work. it's so good wh...dude. marriage is hard work. it's so good when it's hard though. so good.Kirrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13087806734364787042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post-86796755606048813502012-01-31T07:30:19.361-07:002012-01-31T07:30:19.361-07:00I love you and your honesty! And love the "co...I love you and your honesty! And love the "comparison is the kiss of death".....just like it is for me when I compare my single life to everyone's married life and how much better their life is cause they are married.<br /><br />I think something also important to remember in those "kiss of death moments" is that I am comparing my inside ugly to people's outside best.<br /><br />Miss you friend!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15897660498387683864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post-15914680336313779602012-01-29T12:23:54.333-07:002012-01-29T12:23:54.333-07:00I agree with the whole part about not knowing what...I agree with the whole part about not knowing what you're getting into. Marriage is hard but totally worth every little problem and fight. We've been lucky enough to have a whole different trial to go through in the first few years of marriage with the infertility. After this last year, I can see how it can either bring you closer together or rip you apart.<br /><br />The thing I've learned the most with marriage and the hardships...love your husband with all your heart, keep God in your marriage, and work through trials as they come. I've seen too many marriage crumble from couples not willing to face challenges head on. LOVE YOU!Kari Kotterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16297672772507208186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post-77520627870242238092012-01-29T10:57:58.064-07:002012-01-29T10:57:58.064-07:00Hey Cami - 1st of all, Thank you for writing this....Hey Cami - 1st of all, Thank you for writing this. <br />It's true, people don't Really tell you about marriage. Or anything about being an adult. I feel like more of our difficulties stemmed out of the trauma of adulthood hitting us than anything else. And also the hardship of our best married friend's slow and horrible road toward divorce (we dealt with that for the 1st 2 years of our marriage).<br />Half the people who told us something about "the first year of marriage" said it was the most difficult of their marriage, and the other half said it was the easiest. So we went in to it with a little bit of wariness. <br />As for the new marriage book by Driscoll... I tend to strongly dislike him (but i have never heard or read him directly) based on the fact that he is purposely inflammatory and shocking and I believe that is not helpful to the Christian community or doing anything to make the Gospel beautiful. BUT I am reading "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas (I've previously read Sacred Pathways by him) and though I'm only on ch 4 I'm all about recommending it. He is very honest and straightforward about marriage and about Being a Christian. I can't recommend it enough for any Christian who wants to be constantly working toward holiness.<br />The other book I strongly recommend is either "The Emotionally Healthy Church" or "The Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" by Peter L. Scazzero. Emotional health and maturity has been the other area that I feel has had the greatest effect on our marriage - how we have or have not dealt with our past, our pain, and how to be honest with ourself and others. Powerful. stuff.<br />Anyway - sorry for a dreadfully long comment, but I love you post and I wanted to speak to it because I agree that it is something we all need to get a whole lot more honest with each other about - it can Only help! I love you and Daveo so much and love to hear that God is doing His amazing work in your lives and your marriage. :)Allihttp://bramblefloraldesign.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post-41133975747955170532012-01-28T15:07:57.791-07:002012-01-28T15:07:57.791-07:00I think the people who say it's been easy are ...I think the people who say it's been easy are lying.Kathy Damp/Kathleen Damp Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04758791666744575408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4242624993628806583.post-33003460130489797522012-01-28T14:04:56.790-07:002012-01-28T14:04:56.790-07:00I needed to read this today (and probably EVERY da...I needed to read this today (and probably EVERY day if I'm being completely honest). Thanks Cami. :) "Comparison is the kiss of death" HA! I love that! <br /><br />I've been married for 2 years, 2 months and 7 days. (but who's counting) Hardest thing I've ever done. Ever. John and I are both guilty of saying, "I know there's a God because we're still married." ;)<br /><br />I appreciate your posts, sister! Keep 'em comin'.Mandy Enternoreply@blogger.com