the quest continues

Somehow this has turned out to be an account of my journey into being the woman after God's own heart. Or maybe that's all it's been from the beginning.

It seems incredible to me how deep self-hatred can run. Even when I think that I have myself tamed, it comes and strikes me in the throat as I stare at myself in the mirror. It whispers twisted truths in my ears through the voices of the people that I love. It points out flaws that seem to be impossible to improve upon. And at the end of the day, it reminds me how deeply I've fallen and bades me to look at how badly I've failed.

I've got a knight in shining armor now, and he fights for me harder than I've ever seen anyone fight for me before. He battles my mind and strangles the lies. He trumps the flaws with the strengths and shows me how I've succeeded. And at the end of the day, he still loves me more than the day before.

Above all of this, there is a God. The God. The only God.
He put me together, placed the hairs exactly right, sprinkled the freckles and tinted the eyes. He hand-mixed the personality, poured it in, and sealed my heart with His hands, all the while leaving His own print on it.
He has been fighting for me from the dawn of time, and will continue to battle on long after the world has gone dark. He saved me before I fell, and held me before I cried.

His name is Jesus, and He is the only Truth that I want whispered in my ear.