reminisce

Ten years ago I was sitting in my room, wondering how on earth I was going to make it in college without my family. Homesickness was the bane of my existence, and four years without my parents was my doom. Fast forward to right now- I've got a sparkly ring on my left finger, Chicago high-rise buildings out my window and furniture for my new apartment on order.
Five years ago I was laying on my floor, spread-eagled on the carpet and wondering how on earth I was going to get out of this place called Utah. My biggest goal in life was to be able to drive a car and pull in a regular paycheck while looking fantastic in the midst of it all. Four years away didn't scare me nearly as much, but if you had asked me in the middle of the night, I would have just shuttered and pulled the covers tighter. Now it's a semi-sanitized bubble that can still be shattered by a dingy looking black boy shouting obscenities and throwing rocks as you walk down the sidewalk. Pristine dreams are rocked as reality starts to creep back in-
this brings with it the question, what am I doing here?
Sometimes I feel so cloistered in my own life that when the blinds come off and my peripheral vision is back, I'm shattered by that question- what am I doing here?
What sort of a difference am I making?





Take a breath, and maybe the answers will start to flow through again.