a bowl of mac and cheese
>> 5.02.2008
Does profound come over this?
It feels like it ought to.
But maybe that's my problem.
Feel has been my primary vocabulary word for the past few days:
"My mouth feels okay."
"My teeth feel like they're shouting at me."
"The pasta is getting caught on my stitches and it makes me feel like I want to cry!"
Urgh.
I don't do this suffering thing well. For the first few days I had the Anne of Green Gables attitude, you know, thinking about how great it was that I could sleep and do homework without any other commitments.
Then the time came where a commitment came up (to another person, so I couldn't just not do it) and I turned myself inside out.
I am now back to hurting and telling people about it.
Some thoughts:
Sometimes God brings blessings in extremely odd-looking packages (aka a $2300 tooth removal and general anesthetic) but they look like inconveniences or even things that are going to make your life fall apart. However, it's all about where you're at with God and where you're at in life that makes it possible for you to delineate between the two.
Sometimes it is okay to spend days on your own in your room just reading and discussing how much you dislike sitting in your room by yourself with God. This generally leads to things that are going on beneath the surface that you and God probably wouldn't have covered had you walked out the door in preparation to see someone else and put your "together" look on your face.
Sometimes you have to love people regardless of when they take your advice to such an extreme that they turn into a scary monster and you're not really sure who they are, but you're almost ready for them to go back to pretending. But then, you cannot EVER tell them this and you just have to support them through their time of self-exploration and reminding them that you love them no matter what (or who) they turn into.
Sometimes it is okay to sit in your sweatpants at 6:30 on a friday night and not want to wash your face or change your clothes and just be a loser for awhile. Especially if you have four tooth cavities stitched over in your mouth.
Oh, and drinking juice every day really clears up your complexion.
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