over the sea

Dear self,
You're doing a fantastic job.
Please keep going.

Sincerely,
Me.

Sometimes I wish letters like this would just come in the mail every time you needed one.
Unfortunately, it seems that we can't read our own minds and our powers of prediction are severely lacking. I don't know what you want, and I'm not quite sure how to read you.
It's like a big giant knot, made up of a thread that is fifty different colors and I'm just trying to untangle it so that I have a little bit more room to breathe.

Give me a break, Frederick.
You don't know.

Read more...

list

...cause I talked too long.

-Apartments. I want my own house.
-Chocolate muffins. Mmm mmm, breakfast.
-Midterms. Two surprise and one in three hours that I have NOT studied for.
-Medicine. Stupid American insurance.
-Europe. I'm going in 9 hours!
-Wedding. Sister-in-law and my own. 85 days!
-Marriage. I wish I was already...
-Thoughts. Too many. No wonder I need help sorting them out.
-Words. Why can't I shape them any better?
-Post-it notes. The blue squares are taking over my desk.
-Sunshine. finally.

-love love.

Read more...

door(s) problem(s)

The problem with doors is that they always make you wonder what is behind them. What kind of a person would paint a door such a vivid red and then hide behind it? Who lives there, and what do they eat for breakfast?

Maybe they're rich, and they simply wanted to draw attention the fact that they live downtown in a huge city where rent is sky high and gas prices are even higher. Maybe they go out to glamorous parties every night, and in the early morning hours they need the brightness of that door to get them home.
Maybe I'm just crazy, and need to live a bit outside of myself right now.

I'm just tired and it just keeps raining
and raining
and r a i n i n g.

Things are piling up, but it's not even like they're the big things. They're just the little nagging things that get stuck at the base of your brain and BOTHER YOU until you fix them.
Things like laundry
and dishes
and class schedules
and money
and a place to live
and wedding invitations
and HOMEWORK.
[big piles of homework]

Sometimes I would like to run away and forget about longings to come back.

Read more...