two days

>> 1.30.2011

I am failing miserably at this whole 365 photo thing.
It's pretty pitiful.
I keep my camera out in the hopes that I'll remember to just take a picture for the day, but then I forget, or am too tired, or can't think of anything to photograph and I go to sleep and the next day comes and I'm missing another day.

Remember how I wasn't making resolutions so that I couldn't fail?
Well, I still feel like I'm failing.

Apparently, God works on our issues even in the small things--like reminders that perfection is never attainable, and the important thing is to just keep going, even when you've already missed the mark.

As cliche as it sounds, the learning is in the journey, not the arrival.
Move to another country, and this phrase will become infinitely more understandable and complex, all at once.

So, enough soppy for one day. Have some pictures.

Jan. 25, 2011
Erica and Inga posing in front of Erica's art show display.
Love it.

Jan. 29, 2011
A shot out the window of the Divinity School at the Bodleian Library in Oxford.
I'm kind of in love with this shot, but I'm not sure that I can tell you why...maybe because it was just unexpected.

That's all I've got for now.
I'm tired and have been wrestling through a lot of things having to do with creativity and my purpose lately.
I'm sure that I'll dump it all out here after I've had a chance to process it, but for now I'm just trying to deal with the fact that I feel sort of stopped up...Words aren't enough right now, and the photos I'm taking just aren't translating the way I hoped.

Essentially, I feel like I'm in this creatively frustrated funk, but instead of moaning about it and passively waiting for it to pass, I'm trying to take the road where I wrestle with it all and break through this wall that seems to have been erected without my knowledge around my brain.
So, the inspiration has slowed to a trickle, but I'm doing my best to siphon that trickle into these words and these photographs in the hopes that eventually it could turn into a steady stream, and one day, a big flood of creativity that will just last me forever.
A girl can dream.

For now, we are working on settling in and finding our people.
And this is me, just putting my head down and bracing my way through it.



>> 1.28.2011

My apologies for the quiet around here.
I've been checking nearly every day to see if my iPhoto would sync up to blogger, and it just decided to upload my photos today.
I know that these aren't all the pictures for the days I've missed, but it's at least a couple.
Plus, I have some great shots from our trip to Leeds Castle, but that'll have to be another post, cause I am a woman drowning in work and definitely cannot sit on my blog all day (as much as I would like to).

Jan. 18, 2011.
I was definitely scraping for something to take pictures of, and then the pineapple we had just been given caught my eye.

Jan. 19, 2011
Again, looking for inspiration in the usual places.
These are in my kitchen--tea jars!

Jan. 20, 2011
We had friends over for dinner, and I liked the way the table looked, all set up for everyone.
Not great, but it's a picture.

Jan. 21, 2011
Probably one of my favorite photographs that I have ever taken.
I am utterly in love with it.
In the library at Leeds Castle.

Jan. 23, 2011
I missed a day.
We all knew it would happen.
This was taken outside of our church, All Saints Loose.

I promise to write a more elaborate post in the near future, just as soon as I find my way out of all the work I am currently buried under.
On a completely unrelated note, my baby has decided to nestle up on my right side, and my little belly's all lopsided.

I fall in love with this baby more and more every single day.



>> 1.22.2011

For some reason, blogger won't sync with my iPhoto and realize that I have taken new pictures and written new blog posts to be put up.


In other news, my child kicked so hard the other day that I was able to see it, as well as feel it a little later on. I'm beginning to think that this baby already has a very strong will and a very unique personality. Nothing like it's mother, of course.

We find out what we're having in about a week and a half and I. cannot. wait.
Hubs and I have a debate going as to whether or not it's a boy or a girl.
He's convinced it's a boy, and I was leaning that way too, until I started to feel it moving. For some reason, ever since that happened I've just gotten it into my head that it is actually a she.
So who knows?

I've been trying my best to take pictures every day and definitely not succeeding, but I'm at least taking some.
We're taking an expedition today and I am definitely bringing my camera, so maybe I'll have something to show for it (if Blogger ever decides to cooperate with my computer again).

So, all of this to say that I am still here, and really am trying to get this going faithfully, but technology has not been on my side.



>> 1.17.2011

After a ridiculously long absence, Hubs and I have moved into our new flat, secured a "dongle" (ridiculous term, I know) so that we can get an internet connection while we're waiting for the real internet guy to come and set it all up for us, and are finally, finally settling into life here.
So, hopefully that means all of my promises about blogging more will actually begin to come into fruition.

In an effort to spur myself along, I've decided to take up a new challenge.
In fact, it's probably the only thing that comes close to a "new year's resolution", cause I'm doing the trendy thing and just not making any this year.
(Cami-1, Failure-0)

Anyway, I've been reading about other bloggers/photographers participating in something called 365 photo and have decided to do it myself. It basically involves taking at least one photograph a day for a year, and I think it's the perfect thing for me.

I've been really wanting to focus more on developing my (very amateur) photography skills, and I feel like this will push me where I want to go, as well as help me get a better grip on my particular style. Not to mention that it will simply force me to take more pictures.

So, the goal is to put a picture up every day, whether I write something or not.
That'll (hopefully) get me blogging more as well.

Without further ado, day one:

I'm really excited about this chance to push myself outside of my comfort zone and see what comes out of the camera.
Please feel free to leave (constructive) criticism and other thoughts. I'd love to know how the twelve of you feel, and whether or not anyone else is taking on a challenge like this as well.

Also, just a sidenote, these pictures are lightly, if at all processed, due to the fact that I've only got iPhoto and a child on the way, so buying an Adobe suite is kind of out of the question for us. : )



>> 1.04.2011

This year, I decided to switch things up, and am currently reading through the Bible in chronological order.
This means that I'm getting to read events as they happened, rather than jumping back and forth between stories by going straight through the Bible. So, the first three days consisted of reading Genesis 1-11 (which covers Creation, the Fall of man, Noah and the Flood, and the Tower of Babel, and subsequent scattering of people around the earth). Today I started reading Job, who's story actually takes place before the birth of Abraham.

Although I've gone through it before, and I can tell you the basics, for some reason it hit me harder today. Here is a man, who, for all intents and purposes, is living his life in the most holy manner he knows. He is described as "blameless and upright", as well as the fact that he "feared God and shunned evil". He loved his children dearly, so much so that he would ensure that they went through the purification rites after they had a wild weekend with their friends, and he made burnt offerings for each of them (he had ten) just to make sure that they were pure before the Lord.

This is a man who clearly takes God's commandments seriously and desires to follow after Him with his whole heart.

And yet...

And yet. Satan comes to God after wandering around the world, and for some inexplicable reason, God draws his attention to Job. "Look at this guy," God says. "Look at how much he loves me and fears me. In fact, he obeys me so well, that there is no one else on earth who can even compare." That should give you some idea of just how much Job followed the Lord--when Satan came to God, Job is the one who was noticed, and Job is the one whom God said had no equal in his worship of the Lord.

Satan (which interestingly enough means the accuser, according to my footnotes) then taunts God, and Job, by saying that the only reason the human is doing so well is because God has protected him and blessed him.  Satan counters that if God struck Job, the human would turn around and curse him--that his holiness was only based on God's blessing.

God takes up the challenge, and has faith enough in Job to tell Satan to go ahead and give it his best shot.
So Satan does.

All of Job's wealth is stolen and destroyed.
All ten of his children are killed at once.
A mass amount of his servants die.
And still, Job's response is sinless.
"At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship..."
Despite it all, Job worships the Lord.

So Satan comes back to God, and once again, God points out Job's holiness.
"...And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason."
God freely admits that He was against Job, and allowed Job to be messed with. And He goes even further, after Satan says that Job will not worship God once harm is done to his physical person.
God allows Satan to harm Job physically, and to put him in as much misery as Satan wants, as long as he spares his life.

And this is what kills me.

Reading through this, Job simply sounds like a pawn in a game. The next image we get of the man is the most pitiful, heartbreaking thing you can imagine:

"So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. Then Job took a piece of pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes."

His friends come to see him, and they weep once they get a good look at him.
Here is a man who once had it all, and is now reduced to sitting in the dirt, cutting himself with broken pottery in an attempt to stem the physical pain he is feeling.


Why would God allow the most holy man in existence at that time to be reduced to this pitiful pile of festering flesh and bone?

The answer infuriates my very sinful human nature.

Because this life, and this world, is not about us.

God would make an example of one man, simply to show that His glory is more important than anything else.
Worshiping the Lord, who gave us life, is worth our lives.
And if He so chooses, God can do what He will with us in order to show that He is holy, and give an example of who He is.

That's part of the deal. 
It comes with being human.

Job's answer is the epitome of a man who realizes what life is truly about:
"Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"

Too often we get caught up in how we feel, and how we're doing, and if we're being taken care of.
And although God blesses so many of us extraordinarily, and provides for us when we need it, and gives us what we ask for, that does not mean that He is obligated to.
We are His creation, not the other way around.
We belong to Him, and He can do with us what He will.

This is hard to accept, and there is something inside all of us that fights against it.
But it comes with the territory.
God owes me far more than I have been given, and has taken away so much that I deserve.
I am a disgraceful sinner, full of evil intent and wicked purpose.

And yet...
And yet. I have been given grace, and a hundredth chance, and blessings beyond what I can imagine.
God does not give us what we deserve.
He gives us everything we do not.

For that I will say:
 "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised."


*All scripture references belong to Job 1-3

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

  © Blogger template Simple n' Sweet by 2009

Back to TOP