heartbreak

>> 6.27.2008

Hypocrite.
Oblivious.
Content.

"Use me God...No, I don't have any change. Sorry."
A crowded train, elbow-to-elbow with a mass of unfamiliar people, and wondering what to make for dinner tonight.
Work. Home. Husband. School. Repeat.

I wish I could deny it all. But I can't.
Since when did learning about life become the focus instead of actually living?

I shouldn't look at people and scorn them for who they are. I should look at them and love them for who they are.
If I have the answer to the depravity in their eyes, and the lack of hope in their voice, then why am I keeping silent? Why does it make my stomach shake and my voice dry up when I think about saying hello and asking them how they really are?
The man on the corner in the red shirt and wheelchair, asking for money to stay at the YMCA.
The hobo under the train tracks, rattling his change in his cup and singing a song as people pass.
The woman in the clearance shirt from Wal-Mart, holding her daughter's back pack, while picking her up from school and trying to force a smile.
The man in the movie store, blaring his music so loud it is heard from three aisles away, all the while staring at the shelf intently.

What a coward I am.

"But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot."
-Jeremiah 20:9


Please God.

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