a saturday

>> 2.21.2009

Number one: it is snowing outside. Again. Why on earth does the Lord feel fit to tease us with 65 degrees one weekend and a blizzard from the north on another? I just don't understand.
Lord, I know You are awesome and wonderful and all-powerful, but You don't need to send a snowstorm every five days to remind me. In fact, seeing the sun again would remind me quite adequately.

Number two: it is Saturday and I am drinking coffee and eating cereal (because my husband finally forced me to go grocery shopping yesterday. It was getting reaaaal bad, y'all.) and I just would love to curl up and take another nap. Except that I made a big list of all the homework I am supposed to get done today and, ignore it as I might, it keeps showing up on each of my planner pages. Usually with additions. So maybe I ought to just do it, hmmmm?

Number three: all of a sudden I have this strange fear that the Lord is getting ready to make Husband and I stay in Chicago for awhile after graduation. It's just all falling together way too perfectly. All of a sudden, we are more involved in our church then I have been my entire time here. We're finding apartments close to said church well within our budget, all available at the time our lease is up. I will be interning this summer, so the semester after I graduate is suddenly open for whatever God wants us to do. I have a feeling this may involve some sort of full-time job that I just can't quit after five months.
Except here's my problem: I don't want to stay in Chicago.
I want mountains and trees and grass and SUNSHINE and nice people.
Why is it that I always want to leave somewhere that I've been?
Also, there is a large part of me that does not want to settle for that suburban split level home with my two children and my SUV (cause I am not a minivan mom. No way. Screw the environment).
Why do I have this inane fear that God is somehow going to quit taking an interest in my life and drop me into a bag of 'boring' and leave me there? He's never done that before!
Yet I can't seem to get it out of my head that one of these days my adventure will be over and I'm going to have to settle into my life of routine. Ugh.
*sidenote: this is not meant to offend any one that lives in a split level with two children and an SUV. There is part of me that longs for that very much. My fear is more about living a life of 'dull' not of having a suburban house.

Number four: the cat is still sneezing. Although, Husband and I have a growing suspicion that she simply doesn't want to go back to dry catfood and is thus pretending to be sick just so that she gets her tuna.
What a sneaky little bugger.

1 thoughts:

Kirra Sue February 21, 2009 at 10:41 AM  

girl i have not wanted to stay in chicago for the last 3 years it seems. i hear ya. let me encourage you though- God is so faithful. i know that is so cliche in our Christian circles...but it should be some of the sweetest words to our ailing hearts. i've really been (imperfectly) trying to surrender to the Lord what my desires are for our future, and to cast aside my fears (there are so many somedays) and trust our great God. I don't have to put all my trust in Taylor, or even in myself- because we're both broken and sinful...but a holy and righteous and perfect God...ya, we can trust Him. He's not safe, but He's good....He's the King. I realize we don't know one another...so that makes this form of communication so awkward at times...but you're my sister in christ nevertheless. i'll be praying for you and i to trust and rejoice in Yahweh on this cold, cloudy Chicago day.

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