so I'm talking about food. again.

>> 12.28.2012

Oh, wait, it's 11:24 am and I'm drinking the Diet Coke I swore I'd never drink again?
Yes. How the mighty have fallen.
(Also, I just figured out how to take pictures of myself straight from Blogger.
Expect more self-portraits stat.)


Peeps.

Riding your own bike is hard.

Even with staring at those pictures that I put up a few weeks ago, I seem to have fallen headfirst into a pile of sugary Christmas goodies, and even though I am totally owning the choice I made to eat half of the monkey bread pan ALL BY MYSELF, I am so ready to clean up my diet again.

When I read this post by Holly Would If She Could, I was like, "Yes, that is exactly how I feel." I had already been planning on doing a January Whole30, but it was really nice to read that I was not the only person that had gone a little bit bananas over the holidays.

I bought 'Well Fed' and have been scouring through it for recipes. I printed out a calendar for January and am currently planning out meals, and am getting ready to start some bone broth in my crock pot. We're hitting up the Farmer's Market tomorrow and Sunday is going to be about purging our cupboards.

Even though I'm kind of dreading the first week of it, I'm not scared that I won't finish it anymore, because I've already done it. Not to mention that I KNOW it's worth it now, because of the awesome results I had last time. Seriously, I'm looking at it now and am like, "I cannot believe how terrible I feel, and I cannot believe that this is how I used to feel ALL THE TIME. This is NOT NORMAL!"

In order to help myself through the first week of sugar-withdrawals and cries for cookies, here is a list of how crap-tastic I feel, so that I can remember how this will ALL GO AWAY by Jan. 31st:

Fatty-fat-fat: I am bloated to the max. And those skinny jeans that I bought and that were getting too big are now starting to feel a little too tight for my liking. And the jiggle...well, the jiggle is picking back up and I'm none too happy about it.

Soooo tired: I'm staying up later and later, and waking up in the middle of the night again, and I am STILL tired when I crawl out of bed in the morning. This is not cool. I used to feel awake right when I woke up and at 3 p.m. I was still going strong. I need that even energy back, especially because it feels like Jameson is siphoning it out from me and I can't handle running around after him when all I want to do is lay on the couch and eat. Boo.

Sugar-dragons: Mentally, I'm getting to that state again where I start to obsess over whether or not I should eat something, and then I eat it and feel guilty and sad and mad, and this is not a healthy relationship with food at all. I am tired of staring at donuts and mentally wrestling with myself, then talking myself into it and then being mad and wanting to just throw it all up. I want to get to a point where I enjoy food and I like eating it, but it doesn't control me. Where I know that it's there to nourish my body and make me healthier, but I don't sit around thinking about the chocolate in the cupboard for three hours and whether or not "just a small piece" is okay to eat.

Inner-workings: Let's just say that...things aren't being digested like they should and my insides aren't really being as efficient as possible. I'll spare you the details, but basically I miss having my guts do what they're supposed to.

Illness: Okay, so I got sick like three weeks ago, and then it sort of went away, and then it came back almost two weeks ago with a vengeance and after a round of antibiotics, I'm still sick. Now, I don't necessarily think that eating dirty made me sick, but I think that it's prolonged it since my body can't focus solely on fighting the illness when it's also attacking my stomach lining and intestines and trying to weed out all the grains I've been eating. Basically, I want to hear out of my right ear again and stop coughing up my lungs.

So that's it.
I kind of can't wait for January 1st, even though I am kind of dreading the detox phase.
It's time to get thing back together over here, and I'm looking forward to being a healthier person again. Plus, I'm adding in a regular strength training routine and I'm excited to see how that influences my physical results (muscles, anyone?)

Let me know if you're on-board with this and we can keep a log together...I post a lot on the Whole30 forums, but am thinking about keeping track of it on here this time around. Just so you all can witness how whiny I get when my chocolate is taken away. Ha.

1 thoughts:

Hannah December 28, 2012 at 8:53 AM  

I didn't want to hog your facebook page with a super long comment, but with New Years and wedding stuff fast approaching, getting healthy has been on my mind more than ever.

Sometimes though, I need those bad weeks to make myself feel so horrible without my health that I never want to dwell in the land of unhealthy any longer than I need to.

Then I started thinking about how much this looked like my walk with God. Those periods of straying make me realize even more how lost I am, how spiritually unhealthy I am and I go running (okay, walking) back to God. Sorry to get all metaphoric with my eating habits, but I do think that we're wired to stray and return. Kind of like mini redemption moments that remind me, in my oddly-wired brain way, of the bigger picture. :)

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