don't look back in anger

>> 8.05.2008

I ran through the rain last night, got more wet than if I had jumped into a swimming pool, and I loved it.
My umbrella wrapped up around my face, my husband and I screamed every time thunder crashed, and I felt very, very alive.

I'm ready to be student again. Ready to learn what I came here to learn and bank up more knowledge about the God that saved my life and gave me my heart back.
Husband has a theory that as soon as school starts, we're going to want the summer back.
Could be, but I just can't stop myself from learning and loving it. Darn homeschooling. ; )

My hundred-book list is waiting for me to dig in, and I'm pushing pushing pushing to finish the books I have checked out at the moment. God blessed me immensely when he moved me to a city with one of the largest book collections I have ever seen, and a train that has a specific "Library" stop. Did I mention that I love Chicago?

I am overwhelmed with life, yet I struggle to stay this way. It is so easy for me to become a self-defeatist and focus on the parts of myself that I cannot stand. My mind races with, "If I just do this, then this." What is "this" and "then"? And how do I know when I've gotten there?
I've been asking God to take me back to the minimums and remind me why He loves me.
I'm still waiting for my heart to change.

Ah, peace. Come quickly.

"The LORD bless you
and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace."
-Numbers 6:24-26

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