run the race

>> 8.01.2008

It's been two weeks since I ran the first mile of my training and ended up with tendonitis on the whole outside of my foot and knee.
Two weeks of hobbling around, convincing myself that I'll be better soon and can probably train tomorrow. Two weeks of convincing myself not to just try and run through the pain, because that will just make everything worse.

It's now eight weeks until the race and I'm beginning to think that I might not make this run after all. Eight weeks of training should be enough, except that the sports-induced asthma I have prevents my lungs from building as quickly as other people. This affects the whole cardio-distance-endurance thing and it takes me twice as long to get to a certain "fitness level".
I guess I just keep wondering why God won't just fix it so that I can get on with it. This race was so that I could prove to myself that I could, especially because I have spent my entire life telling myself that I can't.
Except that now I really can't, at the risk of injuring myself further and costing my husband and I loads of money on expensive doctor bills. I've already had my free doctor consultation, so I'm a bit stuck with myself at the moment.

Okay. I know there are worse things out there. I know that there are people in more pain than I am, with life-threatening situations, and I'm sitting here moaning about not being able to complete a voluntary race.
Self-pity.
Gets me every time.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."
-1 Corinthians 9:24-27

1 thoughts:

drivemybike August 1, 2008 at 12:51 PM  

One day at a time kiddo. Sometimes having to walk slower helps us smell the beautiful roses along the way.

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