overdue. [pt. 2]

>> 12.09.2010

The day after the Dickens festival, we went to my sister-in-law's house to celebrate her birthday.
She hosted a cream tea (which means that they serve tea and a few goodies) and then she also had people bring cakes and other things that they had baked themselves.

This was the spread. There were loads of cakes and scones, along with fancy breads and cheeses, for the people who preferred savory.
They even baked some gluten-free stuff for me, which was so thoughtful and really tasty.

I loved this cupcake stand.
Plus, those are gluten-free red velvet cupcakes
Yes, they were as good as they looked.


So, if you know me at all, you know that Mexican food is a weakness of mine.
However, that doesn't really exist in the UK, as their version of a burrito is more like a sloppy joe wrap.
So, when I found out that there was a Chipotle in London, I made Daveo google maps it, and we went out and found it, despite the cold.

I can safely say that I was the happiest pregnant lady on earth after I ate that burrito.
And I'm sure I offended some Brits, cause after every bite I would sit there and go, "MMMMM. OH MY GOSH this is SO GOOD."
Daveo told me I had to calm down before he would even take me inside, that's how much I was freaking out. 

A sad sight--An empty Chipotle basket.
I'm thinking about just ordering them in bulk and putting them in my freezer so that I am prepared for my next pregnancy craving.
(Which would be happening right now.)

Best and most patient husband ever.
He is so good to his crazy pregnant wife.

After our Chipotle craving was sated, we went for a walk around Covent Gardens.
It's a very cute, posh part of London, and it looked SO great all decorated for Christmas.

They had gorgeous Christmas decorations up all over. 
I wish I had gotten better pictures, but the camera wasn't reading my mind and I was too cold and blissed out from my burrito to care very much.

Supposedly, if you kissed while holding the mistletoe, the tree would light up.
I wanted to try it, but it was a pound and Daveo said no.
That's okay. Again, too burrito-happy to mind.

The Apple Market, or main market area in Covent Gardens.
It gets all decorated for Christmas, and all the vendors start selling gift-y type things.
It was so cute, and very English, and we had fun.

And so, here I sit.
I'm having a hard time adjusting, especially because my feelings are kind of like a roller coaster. I can have a great weekend, as pictured above, and yet the next day I am in tears because I still feel like I would give it up if I could just go home.

I feel like I don't know what I want, and I hate that feeling.
I feel like I know what I should be feeling, and because I am not feeling those things, I get this overwhelming sense of guilt for not appreciating where I am.

The good news is that we officially have a flat, and will be moving in right after Christmas.
This is helping my demeanor, as I know that I only have to last a few more weeks, and then I'll be in my own place and I can really try and make that into our "home".
Also, our first ultrasound is on the 14th (which is the day after my birthday) and we'll get to see our baby for the first time. Plus, my belly sort of popped, so now I can't wait to see what's inside there!

I think I just keep coming back to "one day at a time".
I can have a truly hopeless and wretched day, but there is really nothing to do about it except wait for tomorrow and try to make that a bit better.
I'm learning God in all of this--nuances that I've never seen before, facets I didn't know existed. Complexities that are even deeper than I thought, and grace that is so abounding it's like a flood.
Truly, I have nothing left to cling to except for Him, and that is the path I have chosen.
Now I'm simply along for the ride.

2 thoughts:

Anonymous,  December 9, 2010 at 8:14 AM  

I love you and your heart and your honesty! It's one of my favorite things about you. You are real and open and that is refreshing. One day at a time love. One day at time. And remember that a lot of those things you felt in Chicago too.... and a lot of those things I feel now in Colorado Springs. I guess maybe it's more a matter of heart than location?

Stacey December 9, 2010 at 8:28 AM  

Cami I love your posts! You are an incredible writer. Keep them coming and I will keep reading them. As for the roller coaster ride you are on, allow yourself to just let it happen. All of your feelings of being homesick are normal, and being pregnant intensifies every thing too. I was thrilled to read that God has provided you with American friends who have so much in common with you. You will feel much more at ease as spring unfolds. One day at a time girl, one day at a time! Sending you love and hugs.

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