day 10 [round two]

Day 10
Meal 1: 1 sausage, 2 eggs, 1 bell pepper, coffee w/creamer

Meal 2: 1 1/2 sweet potatoes (yeesh), leftover garbage stir-fry, leftover Thai green curry, grapes

Snack: grapes, almond butter

Meal 3: De-constructed gyro salad. (And probably some more sweet potatoes.)

You guys.

Sometimes you get to the end of a day and you don't even have words for that day, because it hasn't necessarily been bad, but it's not really great either and so you just sit there and stew and feel awful because you cannot have any of the wine that's in your cupboard or the chocolates that are in your fridge and all you can think about is the stupid, stupid homemade mayo fail that spilled on your laptop and PLEASE GOD let the back-up work and let me somehow figure out a way to clean it all off so that I don't lose everything, and then you just feel even more tired and exhausted than before because your kid was up playing merrily in the middle of the night and then woke up bright and early this morning, and Hubs has to work overnights lately so you had to be the one to get up with said child and the house is a mess and we are moving in a month and the stress is just. too. much. that I don't even think I have the energy to cry about it all.

Damn. What a day.
I'm trying to hold off on self-medicating with sweet potatoes, because I know that moments like these are where the food battle is lost and won, but I'm having a hard time. Maybe God gives me days like this to make sure that I broadcast the message to the world loud and clear, "I DO NOT HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. I HAVE NOTHING TOGETHER. DO NOT TRY TO BE LIKE ME, WITH EVERYTHING TOGETHER, BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE IT."

Sometimes I feel so inadequate that it's sad.